“You need to write.”
That is what she said.
“And right now, it would make me smile if you directed that love to yourself. I know you’re dropping and need care.”
Saturday night, I flew. To be specific, I was placed in suspension rope for the first time. I want to be able to describe it, but the words fail me.
Freedom while bound.
Total peace.
Other worldish.
Now, I am just making up words. Last night’s experience brought to a close a week of discovery in who I am and more importantly who I want to be.
Who I am is a man full of love, one that gives his heart and soul. And as I try to process the last week of my life, all I can think of is love. Love of people… love of the scenes… love of being a part of an amazing world.
My journey began with an experiment in touch and trust to allow me to understand that the touch of others doesn’t need to have identity to mean something. I presented myself to the world and trusted it would take care of me. https://fetlife.com/users/7750698/posts/6014172
The next day, I found myself in a cage thanks to the thoughts of an amazing human. Moment by moment, the helpless feeling throughout my body entered my mind. To trap my body was one thing… to trap my mind was something I never imagined. And when it was done, I was captured.
https://fetlife.com/users/7750698/posts/6016082
Two nights later, my mind didn’t know what to expect when I met up with my rope and pain friend, who knows how to push my buttons. She put me in an entanglement which gave me no control and no balance. I was in a ball no less sweet than Gwendolines, but more cruel than Willie’s (a shout out to old school friends)
A happy new year and two days of talking with wonderful friends and the joke of ToppyCatsuit arrives… and before I knew it, ToppyCatsuit was a thing… all thanks to a lovely woman who trusted me with her body and her mind.
https://fetlife.com/users/7750698/posts/6027331
One night later, there I was, suspended in a beautiful bind, with Lindsay Stirling pulsing into my ears. The journey was electric and the love I feel from the woman who bound me, limitless.
And then… the drop. For the first time, I really felt it, and it has taken until now for me to mostly recover. The key… taking care of me… thanks to the love of my group.
And now, this weekend brings up a new possibility, if the person is up to it. A chance to take on my fears and the intensity of someone who wants to take it all from me. A Catsuit and a Wildcat. I shiver just thinking about it.
How have I traveled such a large distance in such a short time. Scenes were something to have fun when things began, and now, I feel the spirit of what feeling bound is all about. Submission is now on the table. And one month away, meeting two of my most loved people who are already plotting for me… and the anticipation is already heightened.
I mentioned to a lot of folks that this week felt like it was so long – maybe the longest week of my life… well at least my Fet Life. The fact is I never wanted it to end. But it did, and I know that is what reality is about.
This week is a very transitional week in my “real life.” I asked aloud if my real self is ready for all of it. I had to go back to being that after the joy of just being Catsuit. One of my dear friends… my brother in the scene, reminded me that Catsuit is actually the real me and my true self, and to take the moments of love and have them power me into the reality of life.
Damn. He’s right, Oh, what a lucky Catsuit I am.
Catsuit's Journey 